Owaisabad Social Ettiquette :-Speech and Greeting

As human beings we have come a long way in perfecting the way we speak to each other. Dekhlo insaan ne apni mann ki baat doosre tak pahunchane mein kitni mehnat aur tarrakki kar li hai. Indeed the ability to communicate is one of nature's biggest gift and an obvious way of stamping our authority over the other creatures of the world. Sirf baat cheet hi nahi Insaano ne apne message ko samajhdar, mazedaar bhi banana seekh gaye, baat karna ek kala ban gayi hai, aur baat ko badhana, jawab maangna aur dena dono hi ek hunar bana liya hai

People have learnt to communicate emotions, context, data, secrets, abuses, double meanings, and so much more and then I meet a hindi speaking Kaaf and I am reminded how they can mess up even speech!

Khaas karke hindi bolne waale hinduon ne to hadd hi paar kar rakhi hai 

I have had extensive dealings with non-hindi kaafs in the South of India and the difference between the cultures could not be more stark. A person who cannot convey a message without 'chodo-ing' a maa or behn in speech can't really be called a cultured and civilized human can he?

Jo maiyya chudaae baghair dost se baat nahi kar sakta, usse tehzeeb aur tameez ki ummeed karna bewakoofi hogi.

 Hence I am forced to write this blog explaining the SPEECH MANNERS and GREETING ETTIQUETTE  that I expect kaafs of Owaisabad to cultivate

By what names will Meem Superiors call the Kaaf in Owaisabad

Kaaf Females	Kaaf Males
randi/soole/thevadiya/whore	kutta/tommy
chut/cunt/pussy/pundai	harami/haramzade/bastard
slut/kutiya/bitch	laude/lund
cock-sucker	cock-sucker
laundiya	chakka/hijra
haraman	bhadwa

By what names should Kaaf call Meem?

Meem Women Should Be Called	Meem Men Should Be Called
Sahiba	Sir
Ma`am	Huzoor
Mallika	Malik
	Master

How should Kaaf men and women wish/greet the Meem community members

Be it online or real lfe, whenever I come across the kaaf community, I get the following greetings

1. Assalamu Aleikum

2. Namaste/Namaskaar

3. Hi/Hello

I think neither of these greetings are suitable for use by Kaafs while greeting the superior and morally upright leaders that is the Meem community

IDEAL GREETING OF OWAISABAD

In Owaisabad, the perfect greeting is a gesture paired with a set of words – a mix of action and greeting

The GESTURE:

Any time a kaaf woman sees a Meem man, she will place her hands under her boobs and lift them up, as if offering her tits to her Master.

Mumme apne hathon mein utha ke apne Meem Malikon ko pesh karna harr kaafir aurat ke liye zarooro hoga

But only a gesture is never enough, to remind the Kaaf Woman of her place and to show respect that is due to her Meem Masters the whore will then go on to say

"Main Aapki Randi Hoon Malik!"

Important to remember that neither age nor situation is any excuse to not follow the greeting ettiqutte

Kaaf chahe kachi kali ho ya

Uske Baap ki behan

She can be a hard working office goer

Or tender college goer

Be it a celebrity

Or even a granny at

All will lift their boobs and declare that they are whores for the use and pleasure of the Mighty Muslim Community! Gujrati mein ho ya Punjabi mein! Office Jaane waali ya houewife, boodhi ho ya choti, Agat mandir jaane waali hai, bindi lagati ho, gaay ko mata manti ho, Diwali mein pathake phodti ho aur bandar, saanp, sher, pathar ko bhagwan maanti ho, to woh randi hone ka ikraar karegi!